The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions
by TeeFly
Summary: Clay helps Haley through something rough. Right now it is friendship that may evolve into something more. Will have to read to find out.
1. I Will Not Say Goodbye

**A/N:** I kind of plan on making this either a bunch of unrelated one-shots about Clayley, or a continuation fiction about them (though I plan on naming it all The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions)…I will leave that distinction up to you guys, though.

**Disclaimer:** These characters in no way, shape, or form belong to me. I simply enjoy playing around with them from time to time, for absolutely no other reason than they get in my head and don't leave until I write it down. The song and lyrics depicted in this are also not mine. They are, however, sung beautifully by a man named Danny Gokey and I would urge you all to go and listen to this song if you have not, yet.

**I Will Not Say Goodbye**

Clay watched until he had enough; until the mere act of watching became unbearable. He knew he should have intervened before when he had first begun to notice the signs of her dissent, after all it was not very long ago that he himself had been the one everyone watched slip away. But something kept him at a distance, some innate part of himself that said it was Nathans job, and his job solely, to bring her back from the brink.

He stepped into the night letting the chill of the air wash over him in a calming manner, allowing his thoughts to compose themselves. And when he spotted her shivering on a beach towel not too far from where he stood he paused for a moment so his brain could play catch up to his eyes.

He walked up behind her as silently as he could, though he doubted any amount of noise he made could break through the wall she had up at the moment. "Is this seat taken?" he ventured softly, finding it odd that the words came out in a hushed tone he did not recall resolving to use.

When he spoke she glanced up at him with puffy eyes and lips that, from what he could discern in the moonlight, appeared crimson red. Clay's mind began to drift until she bent her head forward in an almost imperceptible way and returned her gaze seaward.

"What are you doing out here, Clay?" she questioned in a way that made it clear she was accusing him of something.

He opted for sarcasm in an attempt to make light of what was sure to be a very dark conversation. "Well you see if you look behind you there is this really big house…I kind of own it." He thought he may have seen her lip quiver in the tiniest attempt of a smile but couldn't be positive.

She slapped him on the arm and added, "You know what I mean!"

He sighed, "Hales, you got to stop doing this."

She turned toward him so venerable and completely, maddeningly, adorable in that moment that he almost regretted opening up his big mouth and making it _THAT_ conversation, but he knew she needed it, even if she didn't want it.

"Stop doing what?" she countered with a look in her eyes that managed to convey both her pleading for help and the challenge to leave things alone.

"Watching your life pass you by. Look, I know what you are going through, probably better than anyone, and I know that it is complete hell because every morning you wake up and something reminds you of exactly how much you lost. And nothing seems fair and you get pissed and you wonder if God really does exist, and if he does than what in the hell did you ever do to deserve something so incredibly awful as this to happen to you."

"And you are the one they sent to help me feel better?" she joked, and for the briefest of moments he saw a glimpse of the Haley he knew and sorely missed.

"Obviously, I'm Mr. Optimism, have you never noticed?"

Haley smiled at him and then looked down at her feet; he could see the tears welling up in her eyes begging for escape. When she finally looked up at him she looked so completely lost that he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and promise her things he had no business promising another mans wife.

"Well, Clay, you seem okay. Tell me what is the big secret to moving on. How do you say goodbye to someone who means everything in the world to you."

He reached out and touched her hand. "That's the thing, Hales, you don't have to say goodbye."

She looked at him as though he had grown a third eye. "That doesn't make any sense, Clay. She's gone and she isn't coming back, how is that not goodbye?"

"Haley, your mother is a fundamental part of who you are, she will always be with you in the sense that she gave you life, and shaped that life, even after her departure from it. I know it is hard to see now, but she will always be with you, just not like before. And no, you don't have to say goodbye because you can carry the spirit of who she was and what meant something to her around with you always. As long as you don't forget the special qualities that made her unique in your eyes and irreplaceable in your heart you never really have to say goodbye."

At that moment Haley jumped into his arms and sobbed uncontrollably, whispering "thank you" in his ear as she held on for dear life. When she finally broke free from him she looked into his eyes deeply and said, "Clay, it may sounds ridiculous, but I really needed somebody here who understood what I was and am going through. It means a lot that you were the one here tonight."

"I'll always be here, if you ever need me just say the word and I will come running. Well maybe not literally, but you get my point." He smiled standing up on the towel and turning back toward the light of his house.

"Thanks, you are a really great friend." She smiled and something in both of their eyes revealed the inaccuracy of that statement. They were friends, definitely, but a part of each of them felt a connection that ran so deep they were afraid to test it out, afraid of the ramifications of what could come after.

Clay smiled at her and then offered her his hand in a friendly manner and said, "Come inside for a minute there is a music video I think you need to see."

She cocked her head sideways a bit, thinking it random to be speaking of music videos at a time like this but accepted his hand and followed.

When they got to the computer he pulled up a website that featured country music and Haley couldn't hold back an actual, genuine smile. Clay listened to country music. Well you learned something new everyday.

"I can see you smiling out of the corner of my eye and I will have you know that country music boasts some of the greatest songs in…well…history."

She threw her hands up in mock surrender. "I didn't say a word."

"Here we are, Danny Gokey: I Will Not Say Goodbye. Please just watch it and listen to it, and it is going to make you sad, but I want you to really listen to the lyrics and I think it will help."

"Okay," she said her smile fading as he pressed the play button unsure of what emotional melody would come next.

_Sometimes the road just ends_

_Change's everything you've been_

_And all that's left to be_

_Is empty, broken, lonely, hoping_

_I'm supposed to be strong_

_I'm supposed to find a way to carry on_

_I don't want to feel better_

_I don't want to not remember_

_I will always see your face_

_In the shadow's of this haunted place_

_I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky_

_But I will NOT say goodbye_

_They keep saying time will heal_

_But the pain just gets more real_

_The sun comes up each day_

_Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying_

_If I can keep on holding on_

_Maybe I can keep my heart_

_From knowing that you're gone_

_I don't want to feel better_

_I don't want to not remember_

_I will always see your face_

_In the shadows of this haunted place_

_I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky_

_But I will NOT say goodbye_

_I will curse, I will pray_

_I'll relive every day_

_I will shoulder the blame_

_I will shout out your name _

_I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky_

_But I will NOT say goodbye_

_I will NOT say goodbye_

After hearing that song, Haley felt something she had not felt since before her mom had died. She felt hope. She felt like she was not alone in this. Like maybe, just maybe, she could find her way back to normal, or whatever weird version fit into her world. And she hoped that Clay would be there to help her do it.

* * *

Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit. And no worries, if this becomes a story I definitely want to take it romantic angle, and if it is just a bunch of one-shots, well I will find a way to make some of them romantic too. Anyway, reviews make me happy :)


	2. Country Music, Kettle Corn, and Glee

**A/N:** So I decided to continue with this story because I just enjoy writing and reading Clayley so much and well, there is not a lot of it out there and that needs to change. I also wanted to state that this story completely ignores the Naley pregnancy storyline, along with the Clay/Quinn getting shot storyline. Oh in fact, it kind of completely ignores that Clay/Quinn exist…I don't know if I'll write that in, but for now let's pretend she isn't around. Also I'm not exactly sure how old Haley is, I am 99% sure it is 25/26, so I just went with one, so if I'm wrong, I'm sorry!(P.S. I started feeling guilty writing this after S8 Episode 2…but I will keep going anyway!)

**Special thanks**: pam211, AnissaB1, and Lennie1984; who are pretty much my reason for continuing this story!

**Disclaimer:** They still aren't mine; as is evidence by some of the storylines that have taken place ;)

**Country Music, Kettle Corn, and Glee**

The season had started and Nathan was in Charlotte, only after much reassuring by her that she was feeling much better and would be fine and a promise by Clay to make "damn sure" she was. This is the only reason Haley found herself outside of Clay's getting ready to knock at midnight; because she was nervous being at her house alone and he had promised Nathan he would protect her; that was it. She had to laugh out loud when she realized she was even lying to herself now.

In the past month since they had returned from Utah and Clay had found her on the beach their friendship had deepened and expanded. When Nathan was busy, Jamie was at school, and she was alone she would call Clay. They would do boring little things like go grocery shopping if they were low on food, walk around the park, or just eat lunch in his office and talk. It was nice. In a lot of ways it reminded her of the friendship she shared with Lucas for so many years; it was easy, comfortable, and fun. But in so many of the ways that mattered Clay was different. She hadn't grown up always looking at him as a brother so noticing that he was an extremely attractive man wasn't taboo to her; except when she remembered she was married to a man she loved very much who just happened to be Clay's best friend. But right now she just needed her Clay…her friend. So she knocked.

Clay answered the door in low hanging, gray, athletic shorts that only helped to accentuate the muscles on his currently uncovered upper body and his usually styled hair stuck out in odd angles that Haley really tried to tell herself was _not _completely adorable. And while answering the door he drew a tanned hand up to rub his icy blue eyes and she witnessed the shock and slight embarrassment that crossed his features before he masked his emotions. For a brief moment she allowed herself to wonder who he could be expecting to open his door to at midnight.

"Hales?" his voice, low and husky (and way too sexy for her own good) questioned.

"Clay, I know this is random and it's late, but Jamie is staying at Chuck's house and I thought I heard this weird noise and got a little bit ridiculously freaked out…"

He shushed her with a hand and said, "it's fine, Hales, come in."

And when she entered and noticed this slow, beautiful music she suddenly realized that she may have interrupted something and got embarrassed and angry? No, not angry that would imply jealousy, something she had no right to feel, being just his friend.

"Clay if I interrupted something…" she gestured toward his entirely too low shorts and the music filling his 'mood lit' house. He looked confused for a moment before recognition appeared to dawn on his face. He feebly attempted to pull his shorts up, but when they fell back to their original spot Haley smirked.

"No, no, no, I was already asleep, the music calms me."

"It's Friday night at midnight and not only are you, "every woman wants me Clay" alone, but asleep? You expect me to believe that?" she stated crossing her arms and crooking her head to the side, giving him a quick, hopefully unnoticed, once over.

"Is it my fault if women find me irresistible? But this time it's true. You can go check under the bed and in the bathroom if you want, I'm telling you nothing is there," and then he held his fingers up in some sort of pattern and said, "scouts honor."

Haley laughed, "You never told me you were a boy scout."

"I wasn't," he joked, lightly smacking her on the arm.

When he noticed that he was far too under-dressed to be hanging out with his best friend's wife he excused himself to put a shirt on. She took a seat on the cream colored couch that decorated his living room, taking off her heels and putting her feet under her to get more comfortable. When he returned he was wearing a black sleeveless 'exercise tee' and plopped down next to her.

"So you didn't feel like being alone tonight?" Clay stated softly; and it was one thing she both loved and hated about their closer friendship; his ability to read through all her bullshit.

"I am doing better; thanks a lot to you. There are days where the pain of missing her really strikes me, but I get through them. It was just tonight, I really couldn't face that empty dark house alone."

Clay smiled at her, "I get that Haley, believe me, I get it. And it's okay. Missing people who had a true impact on your life is expected; we just have to find a way to hold onto their memories and move on without losing who we are; who we used to be."

"I know and I appreciate you being here for me; I know I'm not always easy."

"Please, life with you is a piece of cake, have you met Nathan? Now what do you want to do tonight?" he smiled at her, putting her so at ease she felt she could melt into a puddle and sleep for days.

"Well I was thinking we should paint our nails and talk about boys, duh!" she laughed tilting her head back and just enjoying this moment, even if it didn't last, even if real life would find them sooner or later, and this was all gone, she was going to enjoy every moment while it lasted because being here with Clay like this, it made her feel alive and as far as she was concerned right now, that was a very important thing.

"Darn it and you know just when I ran out of nail polish! How about we just chill and watch a movie instead?" he joked smiling at her.

"Well, fine, then if you want to be lame like that go ahead!" she smiled back throwing a pillow at him.

"I'm going to make kettle corn, you pick!" he said jumping off the couch and launching a pillow back at her on his way. And this was something she enjoyed about Clay; his ability to remind her even though she was married, with a child, and felt about a hundred, she was really only 26.

Riffling through his DVD collection she stopped dead when she spotted it hiding in the back. It was the complete first season of her favorite television show, Glee. She found herself thinking, there is just no way he can like country music and Glee, God just would make a guy that perfect; it would be unfair to the rest of them.

When Clay came back and sat on the couch next to her, a little closer than he had been before she noticed, he inquired, "Okay give it to me, what did you pick?"

She held up Glee and he looked somewhere between amused, embarrassed, and on the verge of laughter. "Ohh you found that huh?"

"Yes! And it is amazing, I love Glee! So pumped for the new season; who is your favorite?"

"Who is your favorite?"

"We'll say it at the same time, okay? 1, 2, 3"

"Rachel."

"Puck."

"Weird."

"Yeah, I totally would have assumed your favorite was Finn he kind of reminds me of Nathan…well he is a mix of Finn and Puck, pure Puck well he's more like…" he trailed off at the end, thinking it ridiculous he make those comparisons.

"What about you diggin Rachel Berry? Why not Quinn Fabray? I totally had you pegged as the pretty, blond, cheerleader type."

"I don't know, something about Rachel got me. Not to mention her killer legs and I like a girl who can sing and is a little bit crazy."

They both smiled sharing this moment because in a way they were admitting they liked each other; in an easy, no strings attached, I'm not married, and you aren't my husbands closest friend, sort of way that was.

When the bright sunlight started piercing through her eyelids Haley was thrust back into the world of the living and the first thing that crossed her mind after opening her eyes was, "this is not my house." Her mind searched for a moment before registering the previous nights events; what she didn't recall, however, was how she had ended up in her current position, which was Clay's lap.

Clay's feet were on the coffee table and one hand was draped comfortably over the armrest, the other across the back of the couch, where his head, she assumed, was also drooped back in peaceful sleep. Haley, however, was scooted over to his side of the couch, legs curled up next to her; hand resting on his knee and head directly on his lap. She suddenly became aware of how very little clothing he was actually wearing and just how close to a certain part of his anatomy she really was.

She wanted to move; but in a way that wouldn't wake him up. She realized she was too late when she felt his body stir. She felt his muscles loosen and then tighten; she assumed in recognition of her.

She felt his hand on her shoulder shortly after and decided to play along, "Hales?" she heard him question, the embarrassment in his voice evident, which she found odd considering the fact that she was the one dangerously close to his personal area.

"Clay," she said looking up at him and for a moment the thought of waking up next to him every morning crossed her mind before she shooed it away; sitting up.

"When did we fall asleep?" he questioned rubbing his eyes, running a hand through his hair, and looking entirely too good for a man who had just woken up. The only other man she had ever seen look so attractive in such a state was Nathan. She pushed the guilt out of her mind though, and stayed in the moment.

"I think somewhere between Rachel kissing Finn and Rachel kissing Puck."

"Girl gets around," he smiled at her and then something crossed her mind. She was supposed to do something this morning, what was that? Oh crap, she was supposed to pick up Jamie at eleven.

"Clay, quick what time is it?" she questioned looking around for her shoes.

He glanced at his watch. "Shit, it's nine!" he yelled jumping up from the couch and running to his room. Haley momentarily debated what to do, but her curiosity won out and she ventured toward his room. She got there just in time to see him zipping up his nice dress pants. When he noticed her, he cussed.

"Damn, Haley, you scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry, just what are you freaking out about?" she inquired as he rushed to his closet and pulled out his blue dress shirt, throwing it on.

"I have a meeting in, like, 30 minutes, and I'm definitely going to be late, traffic is hell on Saturday." He exclaimed fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he surveyed his ties. Haley walked over to him and pushed his clumsy hands out of the way buttoning his shirt in the way she only had for Nathan, Lucas, and Jamie before.

"Chill out you have plenty of time. There is no traffic in Tree Hill today because of that big parade just outside of town, oh and wear the purple tie, shows you take risks and aren't scared of anything."

After he had brushed his teeth and thrown his shoes on he was ready to go. "Are you sure you will be okay alone? I can cancel and hang out more if you need me," he stated as they both stepped out on his front porch.

"I'm fine, and I won't be alone, I'm picking up Jamie in an hour." She reassured him with a smile.

"Okay, if you are sure," he smiled bending down slightly and kissing her forehead. He paused, momentarily frozen by his own actions; he hadn't meant to do it, it had just happened.

"Oh gosh, Hales, I'm so sorry," he apologized growing red in the face with embarrassment.

"Shhh it is fine, honestly, a friendly gesture." He didn't look convinced, however, so she added, "Really, I'm not offended or anything. Go, you'll be late." And with one final smile and wave he was gone.

And with his departure Haley allowed herself a moment to think. And the first thing that came to her mind was: crap, what am I getting myself into? Which is exactly what Brooke was wondering as she drove by and witnessed the "porch kiss" from afar. Clearly Haley needed to talk to her; she would pay her a visit today.

* * *

Well that's all she wrote folks…lol for now anyway. I just wanted to let you guys know that I know Haley/Clay have and will continue to think a lot about Nathan in this story and he will be mentioned, and I will tell you it is only because Haley does love Nathan, Clay does love Nathan and they both know that what they are feeling is wrong(ish) and will hurt him, but they can't stop feeling it and growing closer; which is why I write this story. It WILL be Clayley, there WILL be a Clayley kiss (a real one) soon. So I hope you stick with it long enough to see the evolution. Reviews are love :)


	3. Ohh Crap, I Like Him

**A/N:** Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, they really made my day brighter and made me want to continue it faster for you guys :) Ohhh and remember if this chapter sucks, you totally rushed me ;) lol kidding, but really sorry it is a bit later than I planned; my computer decided to get a freaking virus and delete the second half of this chapter so I had to rewrite it again from scratch on my Mom's computer. Hope it is still good.

**Special thanks:** keep the darkness, pam211, AnissaB1, kaya17tj, breathe-in3, and Lennie1984 for not only reviewing but for helping me go, YAY, totally not the only Clayley fan in the world.

**Disclaimer:** as always they do not belong to me. I simply play with them from time to time.

**So I Might, Possibly, Like Him a Lot More Than Originally Planned**

Clay sat in his office after his meeting was over allowing himself a brief moment to reflect back on the last twenty-four hours of his life. He had woken up with Haley that morning and though the guilt of this pretty-much innocent (barring his thoughts) act plagued his mind so did the exhilaration of it. He wasn't really sure when the line between friends and something more had become so blurred in regards to their relationship, but waking up with her he couldn't' see the line at all and he wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Maybe it was both.

He had to laugh to himself when he recalled kissing her on the forehead. Even though she had dismissed it as "a friendly gesture" they both knew it was only a sign of things to come.

Maybe if they were psychics they would have known; it was only the first of many.

_(Across town at Haley's house)_

"HALEY JAMES SCOTT!" came a booming voice that Haley instantly recognized belonged to Brooke.

Jamie and Haley shared a look of concern before Haley responded.

"In here."

"What in the helll…o Jamie, I didn't know you would be here." Brooke said smiling and stopping mid rant. Whatever it was, Haley assumed wasn't appropriate for her seven year old son to hear; she suddenly wondered if it was appropriate for his mom?

"Jamie why don't you go and play that new game your Dad got you, the one where you are at war or shooting something, or whatever it is." Haley smiled.

"I get it Mom, you have to talk about something I am not supposed to understand or hear because I'm too young. Bye, Aunt Brooke," Jamie smiled before going upstairs to play.

"Sucks for you he got your brains and not Nathan's." Brooke joked smiling before turning to Haley with a serious look.

"Brooke what is up with you? You look freaked out or pissed or something. Nothing bad happened did it?"

"Well I guess that depends on your version of bad. But before I say anything, is there something you want to tell me?" Brooke questioned as they walked outside to the pool area smling in a way that told Haley she was supposed to know exactly what Brooke meant, but she had no idea. Did she?

"Not really; nothing I can think of." Haley said, honestly at a loss. Brooke couldn't know about this morning, could she?

"So nothing happened this morning, say on Clay Evans porch?" Brooke whispered very loudly finished putting her hands on her hips and staring at Haley as though she had better explain it very clearly.

Or maybe she could, but how?

"Crap, you saw that? It wasn't what it looked like!" Haley responded noting that her argument sounded feeble even to her own ears.

"Really, Tudor Mom? Because what it looked like was you standing on Clay's front porch in the same thing you were wearing yesterday and letting him kiss you on the forehead." Brooke finished sitting down beside Haley, even though she was disappointed at what this meant for the Naley she knew and loved; she had to admit she was secretly really wanting this piece of juicy gossip. It had been so long since high school, but right now Brooke felt they were reliving it a little and she wasn't minding reminiscing.

"Okay so maybe it is what it looked like but not in the way you are thinking about."

"Please, continue."

"I went over to Clay's last night because I was really lonely after Nathan left and Jamie was having a sleep over and I really just wanted to feel safe and happy and carefree for the night." Haley stated feet dangling in the pool.

"And I don't suppose you could have come to, say, I don't know...my house?" Brooke elaborated, knowing her friend was holding back and wanting her to trust her enough to press on and say what needed to be said; to say the truth.

"I wanted to be with Clay," Haley said looking down at her feet in the pool and wondering if admitting that out loud made her a bad person, or just an honest one. She figured it probably made her both.

"Tudor Mom, what's going on? Do you like him?" Brooke said in barely above a whisper; half hoping that Haley wouldn't answer because she had a feeling it was either going to be yes or some ramped up version of the truth and she wasn't sure which she would rather hear.

"Clay understands me, Brooke. He gets me in this way that nobody else really does right now. He makes me laugh and feel alive again; and I honestly don't really know what it means I just know that I don't want to say goodbye to the feeling I get when I'm with him, but I don't want that feeling to make me do something stupid and jeopardize my marriage either" Haley finished turning to her best friend with tear stained eyes and a conflicted heart.

"Honey, as I'm sure you are aware, I am not the best person to turn to for relationship advice, but if Clay makes you feel alive again and brings that smile to your face just stay friends with him and figure everything else out when it gets here."

"What if everything else turns out to be my life in ruins?" Haley questioned both loving Brooke's advice and being terrified of it.

"Well then we'll cross that bridge when it gets here; for now though just don't do anything that I wouldn't do." Brooke smiled taking Haley's hand and helping her up.

"So pretty much anything is open then?" Haley joked walking back to the house arm linked with her friends. And as she walked back toward her house and her life, she thought. Pull yourself together, Haley, you can do this.

_(A few hours later)_

Clay stood outside the door to their house. The one Nathan and Haley had fallen in love with the moment they saw it He had heard the story so many times he almost felt as though he could transport himself in time to that moment; see the happiness enveloping these two people he loved almost more than life itself. He tried not to let the nagging guilt back into his stomach, but he felt it settle in, wondering if it was getting ready to make a permanent home there. He was ripped out of his thoughts by the door crashing open and Jamie smiling at him.

"Did you come over to watch the game?" he questioned excitedly all decked out in Nathans jersey.

"What? Is there a game tonight? Anyone we know playing?" Clay joked smiling as Jamie rolled his eyes and stepped aside to let him in.

"Very funny Uncle Clay; Mom is in the kitchen." and with that Jamie turned and walked back up the stairs; evidently those jokes only worked on six year old's, he would have to remember that for future reference.

"Hales?" he yelled announcing his arrival.

"In here, Clay." she bellowed from somewhere beyond the kitchen; she had gone outside near the pool.

"So what master-chef-meal are you preparing tonight?" he smiled reminiscing.

"I only burnt that macaroni and cheese one time; seriously I'm an awesome cook. Will you never let me live it down?" she smiled setting the table still.

"Nope; it is just too awesome to remember the black noodles and all that smoke, and best of all your hair all frizzy and the tip of your nose all black with soot." he started laughing as he was thinking about it and couldn't stop until Haley slapped him on the arm.

"Stop, or you don't get anything to eat."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" and he stopped when she gave him her 'evil-eye' which was really more adorable than terrifying.

"Don't make me call you Clayton," she smiled as he cringed. He knew he would live to regret telling her that. He threw his hands up in mock surrender then, laughing slightly and backing up jokingly.

"That's what I thought," she smiled making her way back inside.

"MOM, MOM!" he heard Jamie screech running down the stairs.

"What? Jamie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine; but Michael and Anthony want me to go and watch the game at their house and then afterward we are going to play their Wii, can I go? Please, I'll wash my hands and be nice and everything. Please?" he smiled up at her begging and she couldn't' of said no to that face even if she wanted to and she kind of did considering that she was going to be alone with Clay for the second time in twenty-four hours and her mind wasn't even sure it was over the first time yet.

"Okay, sure, but let me talk to their Mom."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he smiled running off to get ready and handing her the phone. When all the arrangements had been made and Jamie had been picked up; Clay and Haley sat outside enjoying their dinner in a somewhat candlelight-like setting.

"Clay, can I ask you something personal?" Haley began, it was something she had really wanted to inquire about for a while, but she wasn't sure how to broach a topic as big as this. She assumed straight forward was really the only way.

"Sure, Hales, anything."

"You told me about Sara, and how she died. But you never told me about how she lived. I just want to know what she was like. If that isn't too painful or personal."

"No, it's fine. Sara was," he stopped to take a breath and laugh, "a lot like you, actually. She was funny and full of life. She had these moments where I honestly believed she had to be an angel because a human could never be that beautiful or wise. She loved jokes and laughter, and she had a way of making you believe the best in yourself, especially when you had a hard time seeing it on your own." And as Clay finished he had tears in his eyes, not because the pain of losing her still hurt him so much, but because it wasn't until that moment that he realized he had actually found a way to hold onto her memory without being consumed by it. He had moved on without having to say goodbye. He should write that Danny Gokey guy and thank him.

Haley came closer to him and put her arms around him in a gentle wondered if he believed that Sara was his only shot at love?

"Do you believe that you only get one shot at true love, Clay? You know the kind of love that fairy tales are made of. That God makes this one perfect person for you, and that's it?"

Clay released her a little bit because if she had asked him that question a few months ago he would have said unequivocally, yes, that there was only one person for each person and that he had lost his. But now, looking at the way her chocolate brown eyes shown into his in the pale moonlight he wasn't as firm in his beliefs.

"I don't know. Maybe; but why does love have to last forever for it to be true?" he questioned, brushing a stray piece of hair from her face as she sat back down across from him. "Does something have to last forever for it to be called love? I loved Sara with every ounce of fiber in my being, but she is gone, does that mean I'm done? That I will never love again and that the only true love I have in my life will be the love I shared with her? I just don't know, Hales. I wish I did."

"Guess that's one of life's great mysteries we may never solve," she smiled clearing up the plates they had eaten from. And when she got to the door of the porch she looked back at Clay and smiled. "But, Clay, for what it is worth, I don't think you'll be alone for the rest of your life. As Booth said [on Bones], the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with is out there, you just have to be open enough to see it," and with that she threw one last glance at him and sashayed inside.

Clay sighed and whispered, "What if I'm too open and I only end up hurting everyone I love. What becomes of my life then?"

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Well guys, that is this chapter. I know it could have been better and nope still no kiss yet, I am building to that! Hopefully by next chapter the set-up will be realistic for a kiss, I'm thinking it will be. Next chapter should be up within a week, I would like to have it sooner, but I have a huge paper due in History class so that makes it difficult. So, sorry, you got to wait a bit longer for the kiss, blame college for that! Anyway, reviews are like candy to me; only without the needless calories :)


	4. Kiss the Girl

**A/N: **I know this one took a while to get to you, but once again you can blame college for that. It, and football, demand a good deal of my time. Anyway, here goes, enjoy.

**Kiss the Girl**

"But I feel ridiculous, Clay!" Haley bellowed over the sound of the crashing waves.

"That's exactly why you should do it, Hales." Clay smiled, laughing inside at her current one he was personally, and proudly, responsible for.

Haley stood on the beach, at night, in her sweats, blindfolded, with a guitar in her hand. Clay had insisted she come out here when she told him that she was stuck on this one song. Brooke, who had been at her house, volunteered to stay with Jamie while Haley ventured out to figure out exactly what he was up to this time.

"I just, I can't put words to this song anyway and I don't see how freezing my ass off while I hear waves crashing and can't see anything is going to help me with that." she finished exasperated a bit. She really enjoyed hanging out with Clay, but right now she just wasn't in the mood to sing, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to find the words to this song. Her heart didn't know if it was ready.

"It will open you up. Make you feel and see things without just your eyes. Come on Hales, you can find the right words, just try." And the way he said it, so sweet and comforting she knew she would try, if only to not disappoint him.

"Well okay it's embarrassing but, Nathan is the only other person I've ever privately sung to," she admitted a slight blush rising to her cheeks when she realized how intimate that act had always been for them. Not sexually speaking, but emotionally. It was when she first really let Nathan in, and how she continued to let him in after everything happened.

"Well if you want me to go inside, I will," Clay offered, a little disappointed. He wanted to be involved in this act; in helping her find her words. It seemed important somehow.

"No, don't. I want you to stay," and Haley was a little bit surprised with how geniunely she felt about that. If she was going to find the words, Clay was going to find them with her.

Deciding she might as well give into this fully Haley sat down in the cool sand allowing the crashing of the waves to calm her down. She had this tune stuck in her head for a while now, and some miscellaneous words, but she knew the song was there, the lyrics were already written, they were just waiting for her to have that moment where everything clicked and went together.

She thought about removing her blindfold. She knew where she was now, who she was with, and why. But she trusted Clay, felt his presence just as certainly as if she was staring at him right across from her, and something felt safer, more respectable about keeping the blindfold on, at least for now.

She started strumming and then the words came and flowed, or at least part of the first chorus did and she felt right, and free, and like she was soaring somewhere above the clouds where only the angels can reach.

_And I smile at you, because I catch you smiling at me_

_It's funny how you pretend you never see_

_Or maybe it's guilt that causes you to look away_

_Putting off the inevitable day after day_

_But sooner or later I know I will see_

_You staring right back at me_

_And on that day I'll take that leap_

_Understanding that true freedom doesn't always come free_

But it's weird too, as she finds the words to the song she has been longing to put together. She realizes it is about Clay, and she wonders if he knows that too, if he can read the, really not subtle at all, words that fit the melody of this song and decipher that she wants him. That she is waiting for him to make the move, prove she isn't alone in this deep well. And once again she feels the guilt sweep over her. She feels these feelings for him that she really shouldn't be allowing herself to feel. Not with Nathan in the picture, not with Jamie in the picture. Not when she has promised her life and love to someone she was so positive would keep them for eternity.

And she wonders, why did Clay have to come along? Why did he have to be so helpful when she needed someone most? Why did he have to be the answer to a prayer she hadn't been aware she had been praying? A little too late she realized she had stopped singing and strumming and that Clay's breath seemed a little bit more labored, and he seemed a little closer than before, or either she was hyper aware of his presence beside her.

When she found the courage to she took off her blindfold and saw him gazing her direction with a somewhat puzzled expression, she tried to push down the thoughts that told her this may be her favorite Clay. An adorably confused one.

"So it's not just me?" he whispered finally, looking so deep into her eyes that had she not been so enthralled she would have been forced to look away by the sheer intensity of his gaze. She knew what he meant without any further elaboration, and she knew they were done dancing around this. It was now or never, and if Clay was brave enough to choose now she wasn't going to back down either.

"No," was her simple answer and with that Clay crossed the short distance between them and enveloped her in one of the most inciting kisses of her life.

As the warmth of their mouths envelped each other and their tongues playing fought for dominace, Haley thought that she really shouldn't be doing this, but somehow her will power wasn't strong enough to pull away, and he really was just such an amazing kisser she felt herself getting lost in the moment, paying no attention to the fact that they were on a public beach. When they finally broke apart, they both sat there looking at each other, breathing heavy, a hint of mischeif in their eyes until they started to cool off and their minds started working overtime and they both feel back and uttered one single word in unison.

"Crap."

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Well I know it is a very short chapter, but really it is all I had time for, and I think it fits in with the story very well. I wanted to give you the kiss, and I felt it was realistic and done in an appropriate way. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are like candy to me, remember :)


	5. Hello, Rock, meet Hard Place

**A/N:** _So I'm really sorry. I realize it has been forever since I've updated this, and I really hate to be that evil fanfiction writer that leaves people hanging. I got caught up in school, Thanksgiving, and finals (and I honestly had no idea where I wanted this story to go after that kiss) but now I have a brief reprieve so I'm trying to be nice and give you guys a new chapter. I sincerely hope it doesn't suck, my heads kind of been stuck in Supernatural-land for a while though, so I hope it still sounds believable as Clay/Haley, it's been a while since I watched OTH. I also will apologize in advance for the fact that this chapter is really short, I'm still finding re-finding my footing in this story. Enjoy :)_

**Disclaimer: **_They are still not mine, not even close. Also the show Supernatural mentioned belongs to Eric Kripke, and while I'd be very kind to it if he gave it to me, for now, it's all his._

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**Hello, Rock, meet Hard Place **

Haley wasn't sure how long she stood there on his porch, overlooking the ocean. She knew she should make some effort to go and talk to Clay, instead of standing on his back porch like some creepy stalker you see in horror movies...or in Clay's case in real life. She had simply gotten up and walked away after that kiss, Clay hadn't tried to stop her, for all she knew he was still out there on the beach, lost and confused as she was. But what was she supposed to do? She was married to his best friend she had a son to worry about, and as much as she wanted to file this away under insanely irrational behavior caused by stress, worry, or loneliness, she knew somewhere deep down that it was so much more than that, and that scared her more than anything else.

She had promised Nathan always and forever, and damn if she hadn't meant it at the time and every moment since, but something about being with Clay, hearing the sound of his laughter, the protective way he put his hand on the small of her back as they were walking, or simply looking into his eyes and seeing something bright and shining and full of life emitting from them, something about Clay just felt like home to her. And she didn't quite know what to make of it. Nathan was her home, he always had been. Haley was so confused she couldn't bring herself to move from her current spot on his porch. What she really wanted to do was go find Clay and tell him that what happened on the beach had been a monumental mistake and that it could never happen again, but how could she convince him of that right now when she couldn't' even convince herself?

"Hales?" the sound of his hushed voice shook her from her thoughts and caused her to turn toward him. She couldn't quite place the look she found there. It was one of confusion, terror, shame, and something else she didn't quite understand, but that broke her heart a little. It looked a little like defeat.

"Clay," was the only response she could manage, and she was honestly a little surprised her voice remained steady enough for that one word.

For a moment they stood there looking at each other, both completely silent, then Clay spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Hales, I just don't know what came over me! I'm...I wasn't thinking clearly, obviously, I just really need to apologize and I hope that you can forgive me and we can find a way to be friends again!" he finished and the look in his eyes was one of such pleading that even if Haley had wanted to say no she wouldn't have been able to. She also realized that Clay was taking all the blame himself, laying it all on his shoulders, as if she hadn't leaned in and allowed the kiss to happen too. But that was just Clay, noble and kind, but if there was one thing she couldn't let him deceive himself on, this was it. She had to admit her part, if only so he knew he wasn't alone.

"Clay, it's not your fault. I mean I wanted it too, it wasn't just you," Haley said looking up to meet his eyes as difficult as it was for her, she felt this was one point he needed to understand.

"Maybe, but I'm the one who acted on it. I leaned in, Haley, I took that final step! I'm the bad person in this equation. I'm the one who messed everything up!"

"No, we both did this. And I don't know where we go from here, but blaming you isn't the answer, Clay. We kissed, and I'm married to your best friend. How the hell are we supposed to look at him and pretend nothing happened? How the hell am I supposed to look at you and pretend nothing happened?" she finished, almost whispering the last part, which had only been meant for herself. How was she supposed to look at him and pretend that she didn't know what it felt like to have his lips pressed against hers? Especially when every bone in her body ached to do it again.

And just like that she had said it, what they had both been thinking but neither wanted to voice aloud. Nathan. The real reason all of this was so wrong, even if it felt so right.

"God, Hales, that's the last thing I want too. Nathan is my best friend, I love him. I can't be the reason he gets hurt. Dammit, I'm a bad person, aren't I? I'm going to hell, I wonder if it's like they say in Supernatural...I don't think I'd do good with torture," Clay babbled on and the pain in his eyes shone through so clearly that there was really nothing else Haley could do, but go to him.

She walked right up to where he was standing, a few feet away from her overlooking the ocean, tears in his eyes. Haley reached up and made him face her, her hand lingering on his cheek even after he had turned to look at her, "Clay, you are a good man. Really, one of the best men I've ever met in my life. You have this kindness about you that is overwhelming. Please, don't for a minute think that you are a bad person, or that you are going to hell. You aren't alone in this Clay. This is our mess, and I am just as lost as you on how to find our way out of it, because it's selfish as hell, but I don't want to give you up. I don't want to give this, whatever it is, up. But I don't want to hurt Nathan either."

Clay sighed and leaned into her touch, putting his arms around her and bringing her as close as he dared, "Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place, huh?" he joked smiling and Haley felt a tiny bit of the weight that was pining her down lift from her shoulders as he held her there. Sure, they were no closer to having any resolution for this. In fact, they had pretty much just decided that it was the worst idea ever, not to mention, wrong to continue this...whatever this was. But standing here in Clay's arms she couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be okay, even if she had no proof of that fact.

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_Not sure how I feel about this chapter, it's definitely not my best work, but I thought I owed you another chapter and when I sat down and typed this is what came out. Hope it works, reviews are much appreciated._


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